Audi Drivers are up their own hole according to a new study, self-centered men who are argumentative, stubborn, not the brightest, but think they know it all and overall are Big fucking Ginny Annes. Although all Audi Drivers are up their own hole, not all of them are in same category. There are more Audi drivers further up their own hole than others according to up yer hole pyramid. Lets explain more
The drivers that top the pyramid are the Audi Flashers. The Audi Flashers are the biggest dicks you will find on the road. Please do not misinterpret they have small dicks but are the biggest dicks on the road. You will find the Audi Flashers all over NI roads they are very easy to spot. These Drivers will work out in the gym all day but don’t know what real work is. The Audi Flashers all kind of follow each other and none of them really set the trend. They are like wee sheep following one another on the road to up their own hole. They like to follow what other Audi Flashers do because it is the easy thing to do. Thick as pea soup but know it all. They will take up two car bays outside the sunbed shops and the nail and eyebrow salons. They really have not respect for any other driver that drives something less expensive. The Audi flashers top the pyramid not for owning the most expensive Audi but because they have either financed the car and live in their mas house or they have financed the car and cant afford fuck all else. These Audi flashers live the Champaign lifestyle on a cider budget. Top show off bastards who cant afford a full weeks shop and eat beans on toast for 30 days of the month minus payday.
However some Audi flashers are not all out of pocket. The study shows that a high percentage of Audi drivers are claiming the DLA to drive their grannies to and from bingo, I mean hospital and doctors appointments. They put themselves down as carers, the only thing they care about is their cars, ballbegs. We spoke to some DLA car dealers in the Belfast area to ask how they manage it? Spokeswoman Ivanna smoke that has 30 years experience in knocking out DLA cars in NI told us “Listen these wee ballbegs have a loophole they say that they are carers for the alleged person with a disability and in case of an emergency they need a high end sports car to get their grannies to doctors or hospital quicker in case of an emergency.” Ivanna also stubbed out her feg and told me personally that she feels sorry for the drivers applying for the dla, as they are the ones should be getting the DLA because there thick as champ but look like they are rolling in it. Clueless wee bastards her words not mine.
The second tier of the Pyramid is the Sole trading Drivers. The sole trading drivers are the next bunch of arseholes, a league down but still up their own arse. They are the self proclaimed business owners. You know the type the Barbers who have their own business with few chairs and mini beer fridge, the personal trainers that run their own business but still claim jobseekers, The so called sole traders that own their own business that normal people would call a side hustle. Them personal trainers that hound people on facebook to come and join their bootcamps so they can pay off their next months Audi Instalment. You know the type that is the sole trading drivers. The ones selling fake air max and north face tracksuit through social media, have a business but don’t have a business account because they are skint and their business operations are illegal. Fuck sake get a praper job.
Lastly poor wee craters is the below decker’s. The ones who come at the very bottom but still have no sense to cut ties with the Up their Holers. These below decker’s try to hold their shit together in life but just have no direction or leadership, easiest thing to do try and be like the flashers. Only the below the decker’s have maxed out all their credit cards and paramilitaries wouldn’t even lend them money. Everything that they buy has to be straight up cash. They go for the older Audis the ones go under the books at the MOT centre and shouldn’t be one the road. They stick wee stupid shinny shit on their exhausts and get them wrapped in some carbon ballicks. Fuck sake get the bus.